America Throws Hissy Fit, Elects Class Bully President

In a temper tantrum over things not going their way, America chose an aged convicted criminal and bully as their chief executive.

Citing no valid complaints, Americans overwhelmingly opted for a chronic liar who utterly failed in his previous attempt at running the country, to run it again.

“Waaaaah! Border security! Waaaaah!” said a voter named Adolph, who withheld his last name out of fear that people would learn about his belief that White people are the Master Race.

When asked what policies Donald Trump would be effective at implementing, Adolph said “Waaaaah! No socialism! Waaaaah!”

Voters once again rejected a woman for president, citing sexism and misogyny. And racism. But mostly sexism, and some racism thrown in for good measure. But definitely sexism.

And racism. Yes, that too.

An average voter, who identified himself as Vladimir, said a woman cannot be trusted to run America.

When it was pointed out that women have successfully run Great Britain, Germany, Italy, Ireland, Finland, Pakistan, India, the Philippines, Australia, and New Zealand, he said “Sure.”

When asked to clarify, Vlad said “America will never have a woman as president as long as a single man remains breathing.” He then commenced to flex his muscles for this reporter.

Polls show that Vlad, Adolph, and other average natural born Americans lean heavily toward a dystopian style of government, where guns are plentiful and civil rights are few.

Also, a majority of legal, registered voters said they are the downtrodden minority fighting against an overwhelming number of illegal noncitizens.

Plans are underway for the most spectacular inauguration of any president ever in the past or the future. Sources close to the planning, who have requested to remain anonymous due to threats from the dangerous radical left, have confirmed that the ceremonies will include detonation of a nuclear device.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ King

A few years ago I wrote a post that said, essentially, that in getting himself elected president in 2016, Donald Trump wanted to be the head of state. He wanted all of the adulation and ornamentation that accrues to heads of state, such as monarchs. But he did not want to be bothered with mundane things such as passing laws and governing.

I’m learning that there is a lot of agreement on this point.

Recently, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) sent out mailers saying exactly that: No Kings In America. They don’t implicate Trump directly but it’s clear what point they’re trying to make.

I think it is worth noting that our Founding Fathers were very aware and very concerned about this new country devolving into a monarchy. They were breaking from a long tradition of people ruled by hereditary kings and they wanted to guard against the citizens of the United States running for the comfort of the familiar when things got tough.

The Constitution specifies that the chief executive is an elected position and that they are in power for only four years before being subject to reelection by the people. It also says that we have a republican (small R) form of government, i.e. not a monarchy.

More explicitly, Alexander Hamilton in Federalist Paper No. 69 took pains to point out exactly how unlike a king the office of president is intended to be, including the following: “The President of the United States would be an officer elected by the people for FOUR years; the king of Great Britain is a perpetual and HEREDITARY prince.”

America does not need a king. We are a republic founded on democratic principles, and we are admired for it.

Now is not the time to abandon the effort. I believe we can make our system of government work without a king. But we have to want to.